How to Give Feedback Without Being a Jerk
The first article I read was about giving negative feedback. As the president of OU's competitive robotics team, I have to give a fair amount of feedback, both positive and negative. I think giving negative feedback is the hardest, because I tend to worry if I come down too harshly if I will lose a team member. College clubs have less ability to tie down members than companies, mainly because companies have money to pay their employees. So learning how to give good negative feedback was top of mind for me, and I think this article helped me come up with ways to give such feedback. I liked the collaborative aspect of the advice given in the article - instead of handing down edicts from above, the focus was more directed toward working together to improve. I believe good leaders go out of their way to help their members succeed through working together, and I want to model my feedback off of this rather than being a person on a pedestal who nobody wants to work with.
Simon Cowell is known for giving negative feedback, but normally is a jerk about it. Source: the article
Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job!"
I was interested in reading this document because I wanted to learn how to give better praise. What I got is a good lesson on parenting that can be applied to my current life phase as well. I often heard "Good Job!" when I did things as a child, and still hear it a lot today if I do things well. I think this may have been somewhat damaging to me, because like this article says, it adds more pressure for me to do well, and it means that I feel like the phrase isn't very valuable. Sometimes, I feel a lack of accomplishment because of the simplicity of "Good Job", or because it all feels conditional on my doing well. In my job as a leader, I need to make sure I am avoiding this easy way out - instead of patting people on the back when they do well, I should support them even when they struggle. I think if I had grown up with more unconditional support rather than "Good Job"s, my mental health would be in a better place because I wouldn't be seeking my next "Good Job" award. For myself, I am going to take a more serious investment in praising others and supporting them, and try to rewire my brain to seek out things I like rather than the simple "Good Job"s of life.
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