Hi Everyone! Here is the link to my storybook:
Super Ramayana Bros.
(If the link doesn't work, here is the full version: https://sites.google.com/view/super-ramayana-brothers/home)
Thanks for commenting about my project on this Comment Wall!
Super Ramayana Bros.
(If the link doesn't work, here is the full version: https://sites.google.com/view/super-ramayana-brothers/home)
Thanks for commenting about my project on this Comment Wall!
Mario on a real life wall - graffiti is a comment. Source: Wikimedia
Hey Justin,
ReplyDeleteOk, I think that this might be my favorite storybook so far. I think it is definitely an interesting take on telling the different stories. What I enjoyed was a that in the Intro level we got to find out about what the stories were going to be. When I saw it was in the style of Mario I was completely excited because it brought me back to my childhood. I also liked how short and to the point the intro was. You let us know right off the back how this is all going to play out which is nice. What I am most curious about is what are the three other stories going to be about. I feel that you have opened a can of worms and do just about anything you like. I am really interested in seeing where you take this storybook and I definitely will be back to read more.
Hi Justin!
ReplyDeleteI love this idea! I think you are doing a really great job of weaving details from Super Mario Brothers into the story of the Ramayana. It was so clever that the brothers hunt for golden coins instead of a golden deer. I also thought it was funny that Ravana disguised himself as a turtle. Your introduction does a really good job setting up a plot of saving Sita. I am really intruiged as to what other stories you are planning to incorporate into your Storybook. I think what you have looks really great but I almost feel like I should be listening to the Super Mario Brothers theme music as I read your Intro. That could be something really cool to add onto the page to further imerse your reader into this Ramayana-Super Mario hybrid world. I can't wait to see how your Storybook will look in future weeks!
I love how this website is setup. I clicked a link and thought I was about to play a old school Mario game. Nice touch on the background, you piqued my interest, so I did not want to leave immediately! Jumping into the story, I like how you introduced us into the Mario world. I mean, who doesn’t like a great “Goomba”! I know from experience not everybody knows what a they are (in name), so might I recommend a nice picture?
ReplyDeleteI never really drew parallels between Mario’s story and the Ramayana, so I’m quite entertained that you brought to our attention, while simultaneously making it fun along the way. Maybe you could incorporate what happens when Mario acquires two mushrooms: where he becomes a fireball slinging plumber, somewhat similar to when Rama whips out his bows and slays demons by the hundreds. Thanks for sharing your rendition of the story!
Hi Justin
ReplyDeleteThis story is definitely one of the best stories I have read so far. When I read "Super Ramayan Brothers" on the story random generator it instantly put a smile on my face. The mario games were a huge piece of my childhood so I am very familiar with your approach to the story with the references to the game and it just made the story that much better. I'm assuming you are going to carry on with this story so I will make sure to stick around for your next story. Maybe for your next story you could include more characters from the mario universe like Donkey Kong or Wario. I had a really great time reading your story and I will definitely come back to your page to read the sequel. If there is one thing I would recommend it would be to change the picture from gold coins to something more Mario.
Hi Justin! Your storybook is looking great already! The homepage makes me feel like I am actually playing Super Mario Bros, so that already throws me into a story itself. Even though I am not extremely familiar with Super Mario Bros, I still felt compelled by your story. The layout makes for easy navigation and the images you used are perfect. Your writing is really wonderful, too. It is easy to follow and keeps the reader on the edge of their seat. Your description is lovely and allows me to visualize everything written, without being overwhelming. Specifically, I loved the detail of the "small glowing red flower." I could see Rama holding it and it making him grow. I am really looking forward to knowing what happens next in this story, and how you will continue to intertwine these two stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Justin,
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the most interesting concepts that I have seen so far. I think it is very creative and your intro page is very interesting, especially the banner. I think one thing you could improve on is the use of dialogue in your paragraphs. I think when you have people talking you need to add paragraph breaks before the dialogue. I also like your use of the picture of the piranha plant before the second chunk of text. I think that it is a good way to break up your story. It also gives the reader something to look at instead of reading. I also like your naming of your introduction and Intro Level instead of just introduction. The picture of Bowser however is not centered. Maybe you can do something to fix that or not but it is just a little thing. I think you can also make the picture of coins a little smaller
Not gonna lie... I was listening to Korean piano music on YouTube (my usual go-to study music) prior to reading your story, but once I got to reading your introduction I was like, "Okay, now I have to put on the Super Mario series playlist." You set the setting, vibe, theme, the whole thing up so well I had to put proper background music on so I could read your story! I'm not the most avid fan or guru of the game, but I can say that I am familiar with all the SMB references you had in both your introduction and first story. I played the game on my DS Lite way back when, and I definitely remember hitting "A" repeatedly, jumping like a maniac and pressing "B" over and over to spit fire and get rid of anything that got in my way. I can truthfully say that I will be checking in again next week to see if you have updated your storybook with anything new. Keep up the good work, Justin!
ReplyDeleteHi Justin!
ReplyDeleteThe idea to use Super Mario Bros and turn it into Super Ramayana Brothers is so creative and fun! I love it! The mix of video games and indian epics is something I never would've thought of. I like that you even incorporated key elements of the game into your introduction like the wearing the same clothes and jumping on a goomba and getting coins. The background picture and the title of the introduction are a great addition as well. I do think adding some space between the dialogue and the paragraph would make it flow/ look a little better format wise, but that's really my only critque right now. I wonder if you will be able to get Sita's emotions about the whole ordeal through to the readers since the story seems to be focused on Rama and Lakshmana? Overall, this is extremely creative and I am excited to read it all the way through when you are finsihed!
Super Ramayana Bros. What a killer title. Creative, smart, and setting yourself up for a lawsuit. But honestly, a really cool website. I love how you created the theme. I struggled a lot with actually designing my website, and I can only imagine how long it actually took you to make it. Then I saw your menu, using the level system literally made my day. Your actual stories are also pretty humorous. I am actually pretty interested it to see how you will continue to create your stories.
ReplyDeleteThe Ramayana was my favorite epic thus far, and seeing you transform them to fit your narrative is pretty interesting. I really hope that you keep making these websites because your creativity when it comes to your design work is exciting to me. I hope that your project goes well for you and you will probably see me around. Have fun for the rest of the semester!
Hi Justin! If you don't get an A in this class for this super cool idea, you were robbed. Everybody loves Super Mario, so combining something that most people are familiar with and something more niche like the Ramayana was a great idea. I definitely never noticed the similarities between the two worlds, but now that I have I think I like your version better! I've also gotta compliment your world-building skills. One talent that often defines a truly talented writer is their ability to create and describe worlds well, and you certainly are capable of doing so! I'm interested to see how you continue the two brothers along their journey. The only suggestion I really have is to add more visuals. Some people might not know what certain aspects of the Super Mario Universe are, so a visual cue would probably help. Also, half the fun of Mario is watching all the action unfold. If you were to maybe add a few more images in the middle of your story, it would make the comic book feel you already have even better.
ReplyDeleteHello Justin,
ReplyDeleteWhat a creative premise! I love playing the Mario games so reading a story about it is very interesting to me! Content-wise, there isn't anything I would change. There are, however, some grammar changes I would suggest. "As the two brothers emerged from the pipe they could hear the booming voice of Ravana echoing off in the distance." should have a comma after pipe. "The peculiar thing about this world was that it had cube like objects floating in the air, as if by magic they were suspended there." is kinda awkward. I would cut out "they were suspended there" because you already said that the objects were floating in the air. I also think you can cut out the sentence right after that where Lakshmana asked why the blocks were floating in the air, since it doesn't really add anything to the story. These are all minor gripes but I couldn't find anything major that needs to be changed about the story! Hope this advice helped and good luck with the rest of your project!
Hi Justin,
ReplyDeleteYour title drew me in immediately because it is so creative! I love how the layout of your portfolio and the banner all relate together. I also like how the theme is carried out onto the titles of the story, how they are different levels and worlds. I read Intro Level and thought it was very interesting. I thought it was cool how you used the same characters from the old tales but transformed them to relate to the Mario game, like how you made Ravana come out of a green pipe, like in the game. Overall, I think it shows your personality a lot that you take a modern game that our generation knows so well and connect it to tales from a different time. It gives the tales a whole new look and interpretation that are refreshing and different from others I have read. I look forward to reading more of your interpretations!
Hiya Justin, when looking through the list of possible projects to review first, the name you gave yours just called to me. I grew up on Mario Bros and your story was an awesome reminder of those times! The way you introduce game mechanics to the story in a sensible way where even Rama and Lakshmana are taken by surprise is great. One thing I would like to see get a little more explanation would be Hanuman. I know it is covered in the author's note, but some sort of relation in the story itself could be beneficial to the reader. The only criticism I could come up with around the story also revolves around Hanuman. If Hanuman is to be Toad, I feel Toad doesn't quite live up to the importance that Hanuman does. To me, a Hanuman to Yoshi parallel would make a little more sense, but we'll see how it turns out in World 2! Overall though, I'm amazed at how you can make so many parallels between these two completely different topics and I'm looking forward to keeping up with each new world. I'm especially excited to see how Ravana acts like Bowser!
ReplyDeleteHi Justin! This story concept is so incredibly creative! There are so many parallels that were pointed out in your first story that had never occured to me before. The Mario images in your banners just fit so perfectly with your site. I am a little surprised there wasn't a copyright issue though. You said in your intro that Rama and Lakshmana were returning to the hut? To me that just seems a little weird for the two of them to be staying in a small little hut with a woman they don't really seem to know. The way you have Sita daydreaming about Rama makes it sound like she's only ever admired him from afar. Just a little inconsistency that's bugging me. Perhaps they could be neighbors? In the first world, the brothers' banter when Lakshmana grew because of the monkey candy and he joked about being the big brother was really cute and funny. I think some more brotherly teasing in your next stories would be great. Overall, you've done a super job so far! I can't wait to see more!
ReplyDeleteJustin,
ReplyDeleteYou introduction perfectly sets up future stories, and it fits the story of the Ramayana so well. I liked your humor in having Sita comment on Rama's overalls. That was the ideal level of comedy- enough to be silly but not knock the audience over the head with it.
That said, there are a few things you could improve in your project.
1. I would personally make the banner image smaller for your story. For me to do that, I had to crop the original image before I loaded it into the Google Sites page. I only recommend this because I cannot even see Mario as I scroll down the page. Instead, I can only see the item blocks. That may not be enough for some people to recognize.
2. Could you have some Indian god appear and explain the "rules" to Rama and Lakshmana? This may not be necessary for this story, but I could certainly see it useful in future stories.
3. With the first story effectively consisting of two paragraphs, could you layout the writing in a more palatable way? For example, have any speaking part start on a new line? This would simply make your project easier to read.
4. You need Hanuman to state something like "I found Sita! She's over this way!" This fits well with the actual story, and it's a better way for Hanuman to enter the story. I'm not sure that I would have the characters refer to "levels." That is a personal thing, but I think of a video game character referring to levels like a character breaking the third wall. Given that the rest of your story isn't set up to break the third wall, I personally wouldn't do that.
5. Will you have Vali be some sort of mini boss? That would be cool.
I'm super excited to see where you go with this project! You grammar and spelling are all pretty decent, so I wasn't able to comment on that much. I'm definitely coming back to read about the next few levels...
Hi Justin, your website is really inspiring! I can tell you spent a while formatting it– it looks really slick. Your use of images adds a lot to the atmosphere of your stories. One nitpick– the image on World 1 could be a little clearer. The one on your title page looks fantastic though! The concept of your storybook is great; I never really saw the parallels between Super Mario and the Ramayana, but wow there's actual a ton of similarities! I've been playing Super Mario Bros since I was in elementary school, and I'm a big fan of the games– I'm looking forward to seeing just how you spin different elements of the Ramayana to fit the format of the Mushroom Kingdom. Are you going to try to portray each step of Rama's journey as a different "world" like in the Super Mario games? The corrupt monkey would make an interesting miniboss! I'm glad that you've decided to do this storybook; it already a testament to your creativity that you thought of this great concept in the first place.
ReplyDeleteHi Justin,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all your site is so cool! I love the name. Super Ramayana Brothers is such a clever title. I also love how you have "Intro Level" and World 1. It combines your theme and your storybook together nicely. Your intro really reads likes the messages/opening stories of a video game.
One thing I thought was a little strange was the collecting of coins. It makes sense for the Mario part, but not so much fo the Ramayana part. Maybe they could collect something else? Like jewels or something. If you still want to keep the coins, maybe you could give an explanation for why they want to collect them. Are they not rich princes anymore? Are they now the poor plumbers? I guess I'm wondering how much they are like the Ramayana characters and how much they are like the Mario characters. This could be a misunderstanding on my part, but maybe it would be worthwhile to explain these things a little bit!
Justin,
ReplyDeleteI love coming back to this page to see how much progress you have made on it! I really like your concept. I think that one thing you could maybe do in order to incorporate more of the Mario world is include the villains from the Mario world like Bowser as the demons or bad guys. Maybe you could even do a cross over episode with like Sonic or something? I also really like your use of dialogue in order to show emotion. It makes the story a little more lively than if it would just be a ton of text. I think that one thing you could do is change the names of the characters to something other than the actual names of the characters in the Ramayana. This might make it a little harder to understand but makes a little more sense than Rama running around in the Mario world.
Hi Justin! Fantastic theme for your project for starters! I love mario. I would have never thought to combine the Ramayana and Super Mario Bros. I really like how your project stories are set up--as though they are levels on the path take by your main characters. Your introduction story sets up the plot perfectly...Ravana seems like such a fitting Bowser as well! Thinking about it now, I never realized just how similar Mario is to Rama and Sita's story...I really loved the inclusion of Hanuman as a guide/helper for the boys on their quest. Hanuman was one of my favorite characters from the original story, so it was great to see his appearance. Maybe you could explain where the monkeys came from/why they are there and who's side they are on in the broken level. I wasn't sure if they were allies or foes at first! I love that you set up the final boss level as a battle! How will the mario and luigi version of Rama and Lakshmana fare against demons I wonder?
ReplyDeleteHey Justin!
ReplyDeleteFor starters, I LOVE the theme you chose! I never in a million years would have tied the Ramayana to Super Mario Bros. I was looking forward to seeing Bowser or Kamek in your stories, though! Maybe thats something you can consider for the Final Boss, making it set in Bowsers castle or something. I also like how you have made each journey into a different world, rather than the idea of levels. I think your idea of the broken level story as a bridge between your first and last story is smart. I especially enjoyed how it was meant to boost his stats for the big boss! Like the rest you need before a big game. One thing I saw in a story I just read was how they blended the names from the Ramayana and the story they paralleled it to. For example, maybe you could make Mario Ramario or something, that would be a fun twist!
Justin, I'm back again now that you've added another story! Still love the premise of turning the Ramayana into a Mario bros narrative. Finding ways to tie in the powers-ups is still just as good as the first story. I'd love to see some more small things thrown in here and there (like finding a hidden block that causes some comical confusion, etc.), but I don't think it's a necessity. I'm happy to see lots more of Hanuman in your stories as he was one of my favorite characters in the Ramayana. Even though he may not be one of the Ramayana Bros, he still plays a vital part! In the finale, you do a great job tying in more game mechanics throughout. I'm so glad I took the time to read through your stories and I'll be sure to swing back by after any revisions you do! Tahnks for the awesome read.
ReplyDeleteHi Justin!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great way to bring these characters to life. And instead of having the intrinsic motives of gaining love or becoming a ruler, I love how you incorporated the extrinsic motives of the classic coins into the stories. Making the game into a story and the story into a game! I love how as each story progressed, you incorporated more and more detail and depth to the stories, and in the end, the reader had a complete idea of what this world existed. When reading the Indian epics, I was fascinated with the immense amount of literary devices used to describe the settings, and I love how you rewrote these stories in this same way but with different elements! I thought it was so creative the idea of how humans and monkeys fight, by avoiding them or with fire. And in the final story it leads to a triumphant win in the end. I love how they successfully reunited with Sita! I loved this idea, and I haven't read any other storybooks like this one. Great work!
Justin,
ReplyDeleteIt feels like so long ago from when I first read your storybook. But I'm back! And I came to have closure with what i can finally say to have been my favorite storybook of the semester. I like reading other people's storybooks just because there are so many to choose from, but I made sure to close out the semester by reading your finale of a video game-Indian Epic collaboration. And what can I say... I am nothing but impressed! I have no critiques to make because I thoroughly enjoyed every part and explanation of your new stories. You really knew how to incorporate the two worlds together! Because of quarantine, I actually pulled out my old DS lite from my shelf and SMB was the first game I played. Such reminiscent feelings! And your stories brought me back to those days as well. You couldn't have written a better, well-progressed storybook, Justin!
Hi Justin!
ReplyDeleteIt’s been such a fun time reading your retelling of Sita being saved by Rama and Lakshmana as the Super Mario Bros. When you mentioned
the bridge was crumbling behind them except for the safe blocks with Rama’s name on, I instantly was able to picture the entire scene being played out on a Mario game. And the ghost armies I can only see as Boos! I love the balance you have kept in Ramayana Brothers, the story has been fun to read but I also can hear Mario’s jumping noise or hopping on someone’s head! And keeping up with their strategy during battle, like losing life points or having an extra life really ties up the video game feel to this epic. Each set of stories is placed in its own appropriate Mario level and you are able to capture really well. This story makes me want to dig my Nintendo 64 out of the closet and play Mario in a whole different light.